Hamster Kin
A Starshatter story
(Art by Neutronboar)
My fellow Terrans, it is Terran-Tuesday and since you loved this little fuzzy fella so much, I am giving you another chapter :D
Enjoy!
Index: Chapter 1 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
Chapter 2
Solace Tourist
“If you but told me...” – sighed the old man, holding onto his crutch while the hamster and Yuik wiped what was left of the gangster’s guts from the pavement.
They used a handmade force field scrubber, which, coincidentally, was exactly what the locals had been cleaning their cozy little street with. Akin to a space age broom, but achieving monumentally grander results, most households would conscript this nifty device in their eternal crusade against grime and dust. For it to clean gore, however, a number of modifications need be installed; more, said gadget had to be bigger.
The thing’s force field currently screeched over nano-forged road surface, cleverly removing any grime of flesh-bag descent.
“That I am a Terran, a Hamster, and a solace tourist?” – squeaked the critter with a most adorable smirk – “But it was too early, my good sir! First I was yet to enjoy the marvelous feast of shooup... and then, there were the baddies.”
Yuik sported a smile so wide, the edges of his mouth were at risk of growing wings and flying away. Neither the patrons nor the old man had seen him so happy.
“I only read bits about them Solace Tourists on G-Net.” – exclaimed the young docker and followed up with a question – “Is it true that they travel Fringe Space and spread wholesomeness whenever they go?!”
“Why yes, of course we do! Never be a nuisance, always respect local customs, and gift the people who took you in a bunch of good memories.” – Bloop cited what sounded like an oath, one little hand on his heart and then proceeded to dance a comforting to look at jig.
People entertained one strange guess after another, all in whisper of course. Some thought the weird alien coin was super money. Others believed that Terrans were wizardly super vigilantes, able to sweep entire city quarters clean off gangsters in a singe day.
He’d somehow heard them all.
“Well, no, not in a single day.” – giggled the Hamster and scratched his shout – “In a star-month? Quite possibly!”
He muttered to himself a few seconds later – “Wizardly super vigilantes! Oh... this... I am loving this!”
Everyone entered the venue, where they found it strange how its sliding door was so easy for the fuzzy Terran to fix. What appeared broken beyond repair soon slid close, keeping the chill rain out and under a few star-minutes. Once more did the critter thoroughly pat the water off his cloak and hat, hanging them to dry on the overcoat rack.
“Now that I can reach in all me pocketses, good owner sir, may I be having another bowl of shooup? Baddie removal, as fun as it always was, is, and will be, ‘tis a quite demanding activity!” – said the Hamster following one rather audible belly rumble.
He produced another, nearly identical in shape and size crystal-metal coin from one of his multiple pockets and placed it in the owner’s hand, adding – “Master of the shooupses and lenehts, you sir, you can call me Bloop. A Terran Solace Tourist of the most mundane, nigh jokeless kind.”
“One big bowl of shooup coming up!” – and the old man again strutted behind the bar, which was made once more clean by the efforts of two youngish patrons.
“This is our resident tinkerer, Yuik,” – the owner first introduced the young docker, and then pointed himself – “I am Looc, once a mecha worker operator, and now, just a geezer dealing in soups, cheap booze, and nuts.”
The hamster noted that most patrons had the look of everyday people. Their faces worn, eyes tired, shoes and old clothing worn out. None sported any modern devices or cyber-tech for that matter yet, their demeanor was honest. Most were young children and old men and women, but nearly all of their hands were just as rough as the owner’s.
They were literally working themselves to the bone.
The Terran once more sat atop his ubiquitous backpack and proceeded to slurp his soup with gusto. In between the sips he joyously chewed all the bits and chops swimming inside. There was some broth left at the bottom of his bowl and Yuik offered him a small package. Inside he found a gray, plain-looking cracker, which ended up in his bowl after being crushed. The crumbs transmogrified the broth into silvery porridge glistening with tiny stars of oil, one which he ate to the last spoonful.
“Screakru porridge,” – said Yuik and reached for another pack of crackers – “is what we dockers call this. Most days at the job, I call that a full meal.”
“Tastes good that baked thing and does not smell processed at all.” – remarked Bloop as he sniffed the insides of the empty packaging – “Who makes it?”
“Comes from somewhere off-planet, not made in Boklik City.” – Looc answered from his chair, one hand dancing over the holo-keyboard of an antique PDA device.
His face became adorned with a sad frown when the computer bleeped, showing him the result of a set of calculations. He had been trying to convert the Terran’s money, his so called Imperial Credits, to the Boklik City’s schlocky currency, the CDCs.
“Traveler, I am afraid that you’ve given me too much. Quite impossible for me to exchange your IC in corpo digi coins or CDCs. I simply do not have that much...” – said the oldster pointing at the crystal-metal coins, and added with sniffle – “As a matter of fact, I have never seen that much money in my life, even during my years as a mecha operator!”
“Sir, you and your patrons, you all have the look of hard workers.” – the Terran said with confused smile on his snout as he looked around the venue – “How is such a thing possible?”
“What the Corpos don’t tax, the gangsters squeeze.” – said the old man with a wince and wheezed, wiping his spittle with an old but clean vacfoam handkerchief.
“Your money,” – and Yuik grabbed one of the crystalline coins, looking at Bloop as he explained – “can hire me and pay to feed all of us here, for two star-months!”
“True. A couple more and you can buy my place.” – Looc admitted as she patted the old bar top.
The Hamster nodded understandingly.
“Sir, if I had to entertain a guess, back in your day things here weren’t half bad?” – asked the fuzzy Terran as he reached for his own PDA, a seemingly banged up model which, after Yuik took a good look-see, appeared a clever disguise.
There was a much smaller, cleaner, and cozier city on his holo-screen and its name not Boklik but Parck instead.
“You got that right!” – Looc slapped his knee – “Thirty four star-years ago, us Parckians weren’t owned by the damned Corpos. We could see the sun, the air smelled of cooked food, flowers, and trees. People came out to play in the rain and it wasn’t chill-your-bones cold, nor was it unstopping.”
“The Corpos, when they arrived, they promised you better, no?” – nodding inquired the Terran, a gleam of sadness in his eye since he pretty much expected what they’d say.
“Higher pay and with benefits, they said.” – wheezed the old man and his gaze drifted back to the days of his youth – “To join the prosperous galactic community, we needed to enter the Corpo economic zone or the CEZ. But, to do that, our old precious metal backed money had to go, be replaced with a modern digi currency.”
There was a long, uncomfortable silence, broken by the old man’s whopping cough. Before long, Yuik made his way behind the counter trying to help him. Not with a medication, but rather slapping Looc’s back so he wouldn’t choke on his own spittle. The hamster made sure to scan them, discreetly, of course.
Bloop canted his head as he read the data projected from his goggles. When a people could not take care of their venerable elders, then you know fecal matter was beyond colliding with the proverbial air cooling device. Stinkin’ poopers had been piling up on every street corner and for what seemed to be two generations...
“Our politicians swore that when the Corpos came here, this would bring a golden age for us. All of their promises were treacherous lies, for spouting which they were paid quite well. When we eventually became part of the CEZ and adopted their oh-so-modern CDC, prices of everything skyrocketed overnight!”
“How is it that them baddies can have all dat shineh cyber-tech then?” – the hamster scratched his chin and patted one of the chopped off cybernetic limbs, which stuck out of his backpack.
“Because Corpos and all them gangsters, they do not use the CDC themselves.” – answered Yuik as he showed the Terran a holo of some alien metallic coinage – “They deal in precious metals and real estates.”
“Eiy, that’s a Taz’aran platinum minted dekat!” – exclaimed Bloop, pointing at the foreign coins.
“To stay afloat, us locals are forced to go on the black market. It is where our friend Yuik sells what we produce for platinum dekats. Thus we can buy goods and pay for things.” – said the old man and stomped his crutch into the floor – “These gangsters you killed, they were trying to run us down so their boss could snag this building.”
The hamster kept nodding as he listened to Looc and Yuik. His expression became even more serious, while he scrolled through the files on his PDA. To the patrons, it appeared that the Terran was making a list and calculations at the same time, probably planning his next move.
“More of them will come.” – groaned Yuik throwing a look at the door – “See, if not these bozos, it’ll be somebody else! They will not stop until we are homeless, selling ourselves and begging for scraps on the streets.”
“Unfortunately, this is typical baddie modus operandi.” – the hamster said after a squeak and projected a holo-file from his device as he talked – “First they worm their way in, slowly, lying to everyone and then they steal people’s wealth, their property. When everything is theirs, they transform the place into a gang-infested slum, which they could rule over with virtual impunity. It all ends when their degenerate slaver friends move in and peddle what is left of your kin on the flesh markets.”
Yet, instead of an excerpt from some book on criminal law or a detective handbook, what the people caught a glimpse of was something of a construction plan. They did not understand the hamster’s digi-scribbles since no one knew any of the Earth languages he’d used to write said scribblings. Puzzled, the broken people exchanged tired looks, sharing their confusion in hushed whispers.
“Say,” – began Bloop, his moderate sadness gone as he addressed both owner and young docker – “good sir owner Looc, what if I rent one of your cozy rooms for the duration of two star-months? Of course, I shall also ask for three meals a day, including a hefty supply of lenehts. And since I am but a humble traveler, new to this wonderful planet of yours, I would like to hire young Yuik here as my guide!”
Looc almost lost grip of his crutch and had to grab the bar; Yuik too, looked at the Terran mouth agape, eyes blinking. The patrons had ceased their whispering and, a number of them began shuffling towards the staircase at the venue’s back. These browbeaten sentients may not have known anything about Terrans, Hamsters, or Solace Tourists, but they clearly understood one thing.
If this armed and supremely capable alien remained here as a tenant, they and their children were safe from gangster hands. It did not matter that when this colorful person left they’d be at risk again. Two months of relative safety was more than any local who scraped a miserable living on this once green planet could even dream for.
“But the gangsters...” – Looc mumbled, his eyes darting between Bloop and Yuik.
“Terrans eat them for breakfast! Besides,” – Yuik snickered and produced a folded map made from thin recycled sheets of metal fabric from his spacesuit’s thigh pocket – “I know all underpasses and maintenance tunnels, so they won’t be seeing us move about.”
“What happens when you two exit them tunnels?!” – shouted the oldster, angry at the young man’s naivety.
“I will be extra careful, good sir.” – Bloop promised with a calm smirk on his snout – “Now, would you say that my offer is satisfactory?”
The old man’s face twisted. His breath became raspy again and he coughed, bloody spittle on his handkerchief. Armed with his previous scan, this time the hamster did not wait till Looc’s coughing fit lessened. Movements almost too quick to catch with a naked eye, Bloop produced a medical injector and motioned at Looc’s chest:
“This is a concentrated regenerative medigel. It will not fix your other ailments, but heal the respiratory issues, completely.”
“We... wheeze... I... don’t have... cough... enough to pay for... wheeze... this.” – barely managed to say Looc, eyes wide and not from the chest pains, but the fact that someone waved such expensive medications so casually.
“Good sir owner.” – the hamster said and tilted his snout a bit to the right as he injected Looc with a lightning swift motion – “I wouldn’t want my landlord to croak before my very eyes. You see, that is not very tenant-like.”
“I promise, I’ll find a way to repay you!” – shouted Looc, his cough gradually vanishing with each new breath he made.
“You said something about selling your crafts on that black market, good sir. That suggests an area outfitted with machinery or some hand tools, at the very least.” – said Bloop with a twinkle in his eye as he picked up the large backpack – “I’d consider access to said manufacturing bay payment enough.”
Yuik watched with barely contained amazement as the sickly color of Looc’s face returned back to normal. Even the oldster’s posture straightened and when he moved to show Bloop his room, the owner did not hobble, but walked instead. They went upstairs and when they returned, the young docker joined them, the three descending into the basement together.
There, behind a secret door, was a small workshop fitted with everything a craftsman needed to fix or cobble something together. Shelves overflowing with old parts, broken gadgets, and all kinds of gear loomed over a dozen men, women, and children who tirelessly worked, tools in hand. They constantly tinkered over some item, be it a digital device, goggles, utility belts, civilian grade exoskels, and robotic household items.
“This is how we scrape a living. I taught my neighbors how to fix and craft simple things.” – said Looc, pointing at salvaged parts and finished products – “Though we could make them, we craft no weapons or other combat gear. Their scan signature is too big! If we dare dabble in the arms business, one of the bigger gangs would track us down and...”
“Smart.” – nodded the hamster, as he shoved his snout in dusty bins full of broken gadgets, poked around piles of metal bits, examining one or another tool and then leaving it back where he took it from.
His eyes noticed a garage door, covered in layers of old grime and dust – “What wonder do you have hiding there, sir landlord?”
“Ah, ‘tis nothing that wondrous, good traveler.” – mumbled Looc and waved in the air – “Just my broken down, old cargo loader. Would you like to see?”
The hamster nodded so enthusiastically that his fur shook.
With a sad sigh, Looc approached a set of controls as Yuik powered them up with one energized plasma cable. Its long disused metallic muscles groaning in protest, the door slowly slid aside. Holo-lights flickered to life, their bluish glow bathing a crouched mecha, covered in a dusty vacfoam tarp. There were only empty spots where the machinery usually employed by the maintenance crew should’ve been.
Looc walked near his machine, limbs gently shaking and eyes watery. With the aid of Yuik he pulled the tarp, revealing the mecha underneath. Fifteen foot tall and seven wide, it was designed for stability and with thick legs, so its arms could easily operate construction tools and carry heavy loads. Painted dark-green, the machine appeared to have been heavily damaged in an accident; limbs molten, its torso impaled through and through by a long metallic beam.
“This is my baby.” – said Looc and secretly wiped a tear – “Named him Gor.”
“Woooaaah!” – Bloop squeaked, and eyes literally aglow like search lights, he enthusiastically pitter-pattered around the derelict.
Neither the oldster or Yuik said anything, but marveled upon the Terran’s child-like happiness. For the next few star-minutes, the hamster proceeded to examine Looc’s mech, a cacophony of squeaks, snorts, and otherwise adorable noises livening the mecha garage. When he was finished, of course without touching the precious machine once, the Terran sat next to Looc and Yuik, addressing them with the hugest of grins:
“Good sir Looc, that metal boyo of yours, Gor, he is most spectacular!”
“I am afraid the damage is irreparable.” – sighed Looc, pointing at the empty garage – “As you can see, we don’t even have a small nanoprinter, let alone the grav-crane, or the mainframe needed to recalibrate Gor’s systems.”
“But if we had them, I could fix everything, easy peasy.” – retorted the grinning hamster.
Yuik’s face was twisted in anger and he gnashed his teeth when he said – “Looc sold his tech to pay for food, medicine, and buy protection from one of the bigger gangs.”
If it was even possible, Bloop’s grin became even wider when he squeaked – “Meaning since them racketeers squeezed you bad, that other gang now owes you coin?!”
“Ummm, I doubt they see it this way...” – mumbled the confused Looc and looked at Yuik, who nodded in complete agreeance with the hamster.
“See, they were paid in exchange for providing security.” – began the Terran and pointed at Looc’s leg, asking – “You were beaten, suffered broken bones, and your money was stolen, yes?”
“Yes...” – replied the absolutely mortified Looc.
“Then you are owed a full refund and with interest for all the damages suffered!” – squeaked the joyful Terran and hopped around, happy as a clam.
The hamster produced one vicious power-club from his backpack. Nearly as big as him, he nevertheless proceeded to swing it and with apparent ease. The thing produced audible sound booms which made a few of the workers cautiously peak through the garage gate.
With a change of voice and funny, cartoonish mannerisms, Bloop announced – “I offer them a goodun deal, see? Cough up the dough or get... bonked!”
Dear friends, if you like to support me and enable many a future writings, grab a copy and have a read!
Cry Havok and let loose the WarHamsters.
Awesome continuation!